When you’re heartbroken, lonely, or desperately wanting someone who doesn’t return your feelings, casting a love spell to make that specific person love you can seem like the perfect solution. After all, what could be wrong with a little magical nudge toward happily ever after?
Unfortunately, though, targeted love spells come with serious ethical, psychological and practical problems that make them far more harmful than helpful. Here’s why you should steer clear of this type of magical manipulation and focus on authentic connection instead.
Note – This post focuses specifically on crafting a love spell that targets a particular person— a love spell designed to make someone specific fall in love with you or return to you. Spells for self-love, attracting loving energy in general, or opening yourself to healthy relationships are entirely different matters and can be positive practices for personal growth.
The Consent Problem
The biggest issue with a love spell targeted at someone specific is that it violates consent. When you cast a spell to make a specific person fall in love with you, you’re attempting to override their free will and manipulate their emotions without their knowledge or permission. This is deeply problematic on multiple levels. How would you feel if someone forced you to love them?
Besides. real love requires mutual choice. It’s built on two people freely deciding they want to be together, flaws and all. A relationship that begins with magical coercion isn’t built on genuine connection—it’s built on manipulation. Even if a love spell worked, would you really want someone to love you only because magic forced them to?
You’re Not Getting Real Love
Targeted love spells promise to deliver the relationship of your dreams, but what they actually offer is a hollow imitation. Forced feelings aren’t genuine feelings. If someone only loves you because of magical influence, they don’t actually love you—they love whoever the spell has programmed them to see.
This creates a relationship built on deception. You’d always wonder if their feelings are authentic or artificial. You’d never experience the joy of being chosen freely by someone who sees your true self and loves you anyway. Instead, you’d be trapped in a relationship where you’re essentially dating a magically altered version of the person you thought you wanted.
The Psychological Trap
The idea of casting a love spell often appeals to people who are struggling with rejection, low self-esteem, or unhealthy attachment patterns. Rather than addressing these underlying issues, casting a love spell becomes a way to avoid the difficult but necessary work of personal growth.
Using magic to try to control romantic outcomes can become a psychological crutch that prevents you from developing healthy relationship skills. Instead of learning how to communicate effectively, build genuine connections, or handle rejection gracefully, you’re teaching yourself that manipulation is the solution to romantic problems. That’s why I think it’s much better to practice self love and confidence spells and rituals than to force someone to love you. If you do this, you will be more likely to find a soul mate who loves you for who you are and create a fulfilling relationship based on trust and mutual affection and love.
The Obsession Factor
A love spell will often reinforce unhealthy obsessive patterns. When you’re fixated on making a specific person love you, you’re not open to other connections that might be healthier and more fulfilling. You’re essentially putting all your romantic energy into someone who has already shown they’re not interested.
This kind of fixation can prevent you from moving on and finding someone who would genuinely be excited to be with you. It keeps you stuck in a cycle of unrequited feelings instead of helping you grow and find better-matched relationships. Relationships that start this way can also often deteriorate because they are based on negative energy such as fear and obsession rather than love and respect.
If you want to use magical practices to support your love life, try this simple self-love spell instead:
A Self-Love Spell
What You Need
- A small bowl of warm water
- A handful of rose petals (fresh or dried)
- A white candle (or LED candle)
- A small mirror
What to Do
Light the candle and place it near your mirror. Add the rose petals to the warm water. Look at yourself in the mirror and say: “I am worthy of love. I give myself the kindness I seek from others. I am enough, exactly as I am.”
Dip your fingers in the rose water and gently touch your heart, then your forehead. Sit quietly for a few minutes, focusing on sending yourself the same compassion you’d give a dear friend. When you’re ready, blow out the candle and pour the rose water onto the earth or a houseplant as a way of completing the ritual.
This kind of magic—magic that builds you up rather than trying to control others—is far more powerful than any targeted love spell could ever be.
For more on using magic to enhance your love life, check out these confidence spells and these ethical love spells.
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Blessed be
Eva x